God is in the Details... Here's Another Miracle

Have you ever had one of those "coincidences" happen that you just know was no coincidence? Maggie called today to tell me one such experience she had just this afternoon.
It has been nine months since she donated a kidney to Scott. They have both recovered incredibly well. Maggie ran THREE half marathons over the summer months, and Scott has been going on outings with his kids, such as hunting, that he has not been able to do for years!
Unfortunately, as happens with these things sometimes, Maggie has a hernia at the incision site. She went in today for a CT scan, which confirmed the hernia and the need to repair it surgically.
Maggie made it clear to me that she does not now, nor will she EVER, regret donating her kidney to Scott. It was meant to be. It was the right thing. It was divinely arranged. "It was Scott's kidney," she said. But Maggie gets nauseous by simply walking through the halls of a hospital. She is that adverse to medical "stuff." So the thoughts of another surgery was dreadful to her.
As she left the hospital, she felt nervous and fearful-- super apprehensive about the unanticipated surgery. At least last time she had the excitement of doing something really wonderful for another human being. This time there was no such excitement, just a dang repair surgery.
After leaving the hospital, she decided to go to Kneader's to pick up some lunch and some warm, yummy comfort. In the drive-thru line she ordered a turkey sandwich, artichoke-portobello soup, and a fruit tart (hey, she had been fasting since the day before!). As she exited the drive-thru, Konnie (Scott's wife) called.
"What are you doing at Kneader's?!" she asked. "We just sat down to eat and saw you in the drive-thru window! Come join us!"

Maggie parked and took her food into the restaurant and sat down with Scott and Konnie. To all of their surprise, Scott and Maggie had ordered the EXACT same meal! Scott had also ordered a turkey sandwich, artichoke-portobello soup AND a fruit tart! If you think that was any coincidence, there's more...
Scott and Konnie had gone to Subway for lunch because it was close to her work. But as they pulled up to Subway, Scott said, "You know, I really don't feel like going to Subway. Let's go somewhere else. You know what I'm craving? Kneader's." They had only ever gone to Kneader's once, a long time ago, in a different city. But today they drove 15 minutes, to the other end of town, to go to Kneader's, because Scott was craving it. Then he ordered EXACTLY what Maggie ordered at nearly the same time (which was after the lunch hour--about 2:15). And then they just "happen" to sit where they could see the drive-thru window, and they just "happen" to see Maggie as she pulled up.
They were all able to sit and talk. Maggie's heart was warmed as Scott told her about his upcoming hunting trip, and other fun things they had planned that he was too sick to do before. She was able to tell them what she was doing in town and receive much needed support from these people who's lives she has changed forever, and who love her like family.
God is in the details of our lives, my friends. He knows our fears, our struggles. There are miracles all around us. Today he worked a miracle through Scott's stomach to give Maggie a divine hug. And to simply let her know that He loves her and it will all be okay.

 "...and lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world." Matthew 28:20

#LightTheWorld... With a kidney?

Millions of people world-wide have been encouraged this holiday season to #LightTheWorld.  I have friends in my neighborhood who are collecting coats, scarves, hats and gloves for the homeless.  At the high school and junior high they are collecting food for hungry kids.  Some are buying Sub-for-Santa gifts.  I see others shoveling walkways for their neighbors and other countless acts of service.  These people are all heroes to those they help.  My biggest hero this season is my sister, Maggie-- mother of four small kids, full-time employee of the The Good and the Beautiful, gun-toting, goat-milking, animal-loving, dirt-digging, quick-witted introvert who wants zero recognition or attention.  She will probably grimace at the small spotlight this will cast on her, but the story must be told.

Maggie was just approved, after months of extensive testing, to donate a kidney to a man in her ward.  His name is Scott.  Maggie really didn’t know Scott, only that he lives in her ward, that he is the father of 4 kids and that he has been sick for a very, very long time—15 years, actually.  The past 4 years Scott has been on dialysis, and most recently has to go into the hospital every other day for several hours of treatment.  Doctors say Scott is running out of time and needs a kidney transplant to live beyond a year or so. 

Maggie’s husband, Abram, was inspired to get tested to see if he was a match for Scott.  That was over a year ago. He was not a match.  Forty five other people have done the same thing, all willing and hoping to donate a life-saving kidney to Scott (everyone of these people are heroes, in my book!).  After praying about it, Maggie felt like she should go and get tested.  Bingo.  She is the lucky winner!

The transplant will happen in Murray, Utah on January 8, 2019.  As Maggie told me about this, I was amazed by her excitement.  This is a girl who used to get nauseous just by walking through a hall of the hospital.  Literally “I’m-gonna-barf!” nauseous. But she told me, “It feels so right!  I can hardly wait!  I’m so excited about it, I’m giddy! I wish it was next week, not a month from now!”

Maggie said everyone at church knows Scott.  He was raised in the area, and his family is well-known.  Plus, he’s the guy who needs a kidney.  Everyone knows.  Maggie likes to quietly serve and not be noticed.  That made this past Sunday a little uncomfortable for Maggie, when the whole ward found out that Scott was finally getting a kidney!  From Maggie!  She was overwhelmed with hugs and kind words from people she didn’t know very well.  Although uncomfortable, she was touched by the outpouring of love and excitement by so many that love Scott.  She was especially warmed by Scott’s 14-year-old daughter, Kylee.  Maggie had been swarmed by people at church, giving her hugs and kind words of gratitude, which made her late to Young Women’s.  As she walked in, Kylee was just sitting down, her face in her hands, nearly sobbing.  Most of the room’s eyes were wet with tears, and sniffles throughout.  The Young Women’s President then got up to make some announcements, but she was unable to speak, her voice breaking in sobs.  Maggie leaned into another leader, Becky, and asked what had just happened.

“Kylee just got up and said, ‘My Dad’s getting a kidney.  And Maggie’s the donor.’ And we all cried.” Becky said, wiping her own wet face.

As the girls stood to separate into age-groups for lessons, Maggie walked over to Kylee and put her arms around her.  Kylee took hold of Maggie and held on for a long time, crying.  Neither said a word for what seemed like a long time.  Finally, Maggie whispered, “We’re family now.” Maggie said that sweet Kylee quietly wept the duration of the class.

“It’s funny,” Maggie said.  “People are so excited, saying, ‘Scott is getting a kidney!  He is getting Maggie’s kidney!’ But I feel like it has always been his kidney!  I wanna say, ‘Yay!  My kidney is finally getting Scott!  It’s his kidney.  I’ve just been holding onto it for a while.’’”

More to come…

I Think I Need Therapy

I came across this poem I had written in my journal a number of years ago.  My kids were very small and that particular day I felt like motherhood had swallowed me whole.  I was buried in a messy house, exhausted with the daily grind of caring for tiny kids, and was certain my sense of self had been lost in the chaos.
When I found this recently, I laughed right out loud.  Now I realize I'm not the only mom who ever felt this way.  In fact, I'd guess all moms feel some of this at some point.

I Think I Need Therapy

I find myself arguing with my two-year-old.

I think I need therapy.

My baby barfs all over herself and me.

I change and bathe her.  I simply wipe myself off.

I think I need therapy.

Then I see snot smeared on my shoulder.

I think, "Gross." and go about the task at hand.

I think I need therapy.

I'm trying desperately to lose weight.

But all I want are cookies and cake.

I think I need therapy.

I'm happy to stay in my pajamas all day, 

Holed up in the house.

I think I need therapy.

I used to be popular, smart, and good at everything I tried.

Now I don't have friends, I'm not sure if I can still think,

 And I don't have time to try anything--

Or maybe I've just lost my creativity.

I think I need therapy

I get annoyed sometimes when my children touch me.

I think I need therapy.

Sometimes I worry that I'm too

Controlling with my kids, yet I can't

Keep control over all the messes the go around making.

I think I need therapy.

I think I need therapy.

"You're Not a People. You're Just a Mom"

When Whitney was just 3 years old, she brought me a sheet of paper she had colorfully decorated with markers and asked me to fold it into an origami box.

As I folded, she found an empty tin of Altoids "Tangerine Sours" sitting on the table next to me.
Picking up the tin she asked, "Mama, did you eat them all?" a demanding tone in her voice.
"Well there were just two left and Ellie ate them," I replied.
"Uhhhhh!" she whined, "I wanted two of them!"

I didn't respond--just kept folding.
After standing there glaring at me for a few moments, empty tin in hand, she said resolvedly, "I will throw this at you."
"If you throw that at me I will keep your paper box." I said as I continued to fold. "You don't throw things at people."
"Well you're not a people."
"Yes I am."
"Nuh-uh.  You're not a people."
"Well I'm not a cat. I'm not a dog.  I'm not a horse."
"Well you're not a people." she insisted.
"I'm a person."
"No you aren't"
Deciding the argument was useless, I fell silent and kept folding.
Whitney stood by watching me and after a few moments said, matter-of-factly, "You're not a person." (Pause) "You're just a mom."
I laughed right out loud and she whined loudly, "Don't laugh at me!"
"I'm not laughing at you.  I'm laughing at what you said."
She finally put the empty tin down, distracted by something else, and walked away.
And I finished folding the brightly colored paper box.

Don't Worry...

Recently I had been worried and stressed about something for several days, maybe weeks.  I had been praying for help and guidance to know what to do.  The fact was, there was really nothing I could do, or so I thought.  I felt helpless, worried, and somewhat fearful.
I had been praying for help.  But mostly I had been pleading with God to remove the hardship I was facing. Have you ever heard the saying, "If you want to speak to God, pray.  If you want God to speak to you, read the scriptures"?

One evening I sat down in a quiet place--with no distractions--and opened up the Bible. In the quiet of those moments, God spoke to me.  It happened as I opened up to Philippians chapter 4.  I chose this particular chapter because I love Philippians 4:13:

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

It was, however, verses 6-7 where God's words came straight through to me.  I don't remember ever reading them before, but those two verses were exactly the words I needed to hear:

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

The word "Be" at the beginning of verse 6 has a Greek translation: "Don't be unduly concerned about anything."  To me it said, "Molly, don't worry."

The next word, "careful" also means "afflicted," which said to me, "Be afflicted, or troubled by nothing."  Again "Molly, don't worry."

So God told me what NOT to do: worry.  

Then He told me what to do: "...in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." 

 Notice that "every thing" is two words not one, which emphasizes each word separately. God told me here to pray to Him about every thing--He wants to hear about it all!; to do it with gratitude always in my heart--to thank Him for every thing; and then to tell Him my requests, or ask for blessings.

Next, God told me how I would be blessed: And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

The footnote for "keep" has a Greek translation: "guard."

What could be better than the peace of God?  And because of and through Jesus Christ, my heart and mind would be guarded.  To me that said I would be safe.  I would be okay.  With Jesus guarding me, why would I worry?

Over the next several days, I changed the way I prayed.  I focused on gratitude.  I counted my blessings and thanked God for every thing--including the hardships that I know, through His Grace, will make me a better person.  And I stopped worrying.  He told me not to worry, so I stopped worrying.

God keeps His promises, and the promise of peace came. His peace.  It was like a healing balm to chapped lips.  It was soothing, comforting and joyful. The hardship I was facing wasn't removed immediately, but I had no doubt that whatever came of it would be okay and I didn't need to worry about it anymore.

God loves us.  He is intimately aware of us, our needs, our worries.  He wants to bless and comfort us the way any loving Father would want to comfort his hurting child.  We can simply go to Him in prayer, listen to Him in scripture, and follow Him in life, to always feel His love, peace and comfort.

New Year's Resolutions? Or Mission Impossible?

Anyone having trouble sticking with those New Year's Resolutions?  Have you found yourself giving in--just this once?  And then once more.  Then once more.  Then just throwing in the towel entirely?
Or maybe you're like me and have had a hard time even starting on your new goals.  It's so easy to tell myself, "I'll start tomorrow" or "I'll start for real on Monday."
On January 5th, I came back from the gym determined to do better--to eat healthy and stop my "see food" diet (I see food, I eat it).  I knew, however that I couldn't do it on my own.  I felt so weak and incapable of the self-control I desperately wanted and needed to reach my goals.
Still in my workout attire, I picked up my scriptures and went straight to my knees.  I said a heartfelt prayer, asking the Lord to bless me with His strength.

I opened up to where I had left off a few days before: 3 Nephi 17. This chapter is Jesus visiting the people on the American continent after His resurrection.  He had spent time teaching and ministering to them.  I felt like I needed His ministering.  I needed His love, His hope, His healing.  He did minister to me as I read His words in that chapter.  I felt like he was right here speaking the words to me.  Here are some verses that especially stood out:

Verse 2: "I perceive that ye are weak..."

Verse 8: "I see that your faith is sufficient that I should heal you."

Verse 9: "all them that were afflicted in any manner;...he did heal them every one as they were brought forth unto him."

I took courage and strength in knowing that Christ heals all afflictions.  I am praying for faith sufficient that He will heal mine--I'm certain afflictions include bad habits and addictions.  I certainly am afflicted by mine!  But He heals afflictions as they are brought to Him.  

What if those people hadn't had faith enough to bring Him their afflicted?  They would not have had the opportunity to be healed.

As I read on, I found some other beautiful scriptures on healing by the Savior.

3 Nephi 18:32  "...they will return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall ^bheal them;"

I looked up the footnotes for "heal."  Read on!

Jeremiah 3:22  "Return, ye backsliding children, and I will ^aheal your backslidings. Behold, we come unto thee; for thou art the Lord our God."

Backsliding!  That's what I feel like I do all the time: Three steps forward, two steps back! Or sometimes two steps forward and three steps back!

 D&C 112:13  "And after their temptations, and much tribulation, behold, I, the Lord, will feel after them, and if they harden not their hearts, and stiffen not their necks against me, they shall be converted, and I will heal them."

This verse says to me, that the healing will come after the tempations and a lot of hard work and difficulty.  Then if we remain humble and teachable (harden not our hearts and stiffen not our necks), He will come after us and heal us.

I really found a lot of hope and peace in these scriptures.  I hope (if you've read this far) that you find them helpful as well.  Happy New Year!

How Close Are They? Maybe Closer Than We Think.

;My family teases me that when I'm deep in thought, the lights are on, but nobody's home--I'm lost in my thoughts. Such was the case one day as I was driving several years ago, shuttling kids from one place to another. I was wishing time could stand still, especially when enjoying meals or time with dear friends or family. I was wishing that time were no issue, so that we could cultivate closer, more intimate relationships with people. Life moves so swiftly, and much time is used up just living and taking care of basic needs of self and family. I was wishing there was more time to have people over for meals, that they could stay and that we could get to know one another for more than just a couple hours--to really understand each other and develop deeper, more meaningful relationships. As I was deep in that thought, I felt the Spirit come in and teach me a powerful truth, which is this: Our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ are not bound by time. Because they are not bound by time, they are able to be with each one of us for every/any moment of our lives. They know each of us very deeply, our joys, sorrows, struggles. They are able to be laser focused on one person at a time--to literally be with each of us in every moment of our lives. I don't understand how. That is beyond my mortal comprehension. But the notion that they may be with me every second of my life is strengthening, faith-building, and hope promoting. I also think twice about what I say, do, think, etc. The other day as I washed dishes, I was listening to the Mormon Channel. It was a theatrical reading from the Book of Luke. I found two verses particularly moving, so much so that tears rolled down my face into the warm water of the sink. The story is right after the last supper when Jesus is speaking with Peter (also known as Simon). "And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not..." (Luke 22:31-32) I felt the Spirit speaking to me right then. I thought it was so beautiful that Jesus, the Lord and Savior of the world, prayed for Peter, that his faith fail not. If Jesus prayed for Peter, who's to say he wouldn't pray for me? I believe the reason I was so overcome with emotion is because the Holy Ghost was testifying to me that Jesus does pray for me, as He did for Peter. I believe he prays to the Father for each of us. He is, after all, our advocate with the Father. He has paid the price to save our souls, so we are His. He loves us. What a beautiful thing to think that he prays in our behalf! And that He may be present with us in every moment of our lives.